either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
