You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
