Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
