dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
