Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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