she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize