OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize