i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Fuck appropriateness.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
it glows. i had to have it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
