She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
