I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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