Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
We smell like vodka and hangover
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