escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize