if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Damn victory sex feels great
the raccoons are back...
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