hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
