You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
