Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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