More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
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