She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
