Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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