Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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