I'm going to jail i love you
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
