After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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