awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize