I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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