Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
