How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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