We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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