Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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