end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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