Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
