I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
