This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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