I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
