like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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