I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
