God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize