I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
