I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
