Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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