I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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