yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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