Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
