I cockslap morals
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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