Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
