I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
