Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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