I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
