I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
