The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
