I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
