he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
