3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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