I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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