I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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