If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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