I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
