I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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