On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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