I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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