I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
