whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
