He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
This toilet bowl is my home.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
