He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
