she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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