fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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