I didn't shave. On purpose
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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