I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
