Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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